47 Words pays tribute to individuals willing to break the constraints of traditional nomenclature, spicing up their names with letters and acronyms.
GOB Bluth
George Oscar Bluth, Arrested Development
Millionaire playboy, Segway trendsetter, hot cop? All of these describe the domineering and insecure eldest Bluth sibling, but only one word can truly evoke the man who made the band Europe popular again: magic! Just don’t ask him to escape from anything or make a boat disappear. -MC
M.O.D.O.K.
Mobile Organism Designed Only for Killing, Marvel Comics
Née George Tarleton, this Advanced Idea Mechanics company man was transformed in an experiment into a six foot tall homicidal Boglin. Enemy of many superheroes and supervillains alike, most notably the Avengers, M.O.D.O.K. still maintained a healthy love life with his female counterparts Miss M.O.D.O.K. and M.O.D.A.M. -JM
EPICAC
Kurt Vonnegut character
Jonesing to get into his programmer colleague’s jeans, a nameless computer technician asks his brainy supercomputer to compose poetry for her in his name. However, EPICAC falls hopelessly in love with her and, the ability to drown his sorrows in Internet pornography still decades away, commits suicide. -RB
U-God
Wu-Tang Killa Bee
U-God only said 86 words on the Wu-Tang Clan’s classic debut album, but he is famous for being one of the unknown members of the Clan. Blaming his obscurity on discrimination due to his lighter skin color, U-God ignores the fact that his rhymes lack any weight. -JL
ZHA-VAM
Zeus Hercules Achilles Vulcan Apollo Mercury
Fearing their might would be supplanted in the 20th century by invincible Jesus figure Superman, the Greek (and, apparently, Roman) Pantheon assembled a mythological amalgam to defeat him. Sadly, for some reason they also gave him Achilles’ heel, leaving the Man of Steel an easy way out. -RB
Mr. T
Actor, motivational speaker, wrestler, humanitarian
“First name: Mr, middle name: period, last name: T.” Starting off his career as a bouncer and bodyguard to the world’s badasses (Bruce Lee, Muhammad Ali, Michael Jackson), this mohawk-sporting sage’s true talent is distributing diplomatic, penetrating wisdom. Cut the jibba jabba and treat your mother right. -JL
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