indefinite articles

This years best-named movie may also be the most difficult to see. In a move that verges on criminal, Midnight Meat Train is only penetrating 100 theaters in its limited release, and may be forced to prematurely pull out after only a week. In light of the obvious greatness of the film, self-evident from the title alone, Indefinite Articles is throwing its support behind the film. We urge you to follow Clive Barker’s advice and write Joe Drake (COO and President of Lionsgate) to save the Meat Train from impotence. The future is indefinite - help us rewrite it.

Midnight Meat Train has an impressive horror pedigree. It’s directed by Ryuhei Kitamurak, of the Japanese zombie samurai yakuza cult film Versus, based on a story by horror fixture Clive Barker, and even stars Brooke Shields. Not only that, but Vinnie “the Juggernaut, bitch” Jones, definitively proves that you don’t need makeup or gimmicks to be completely terrifying.

With horror films experiencing an extended modern renaissance, why is the studio opting for such a limp opening for a movie with such undeniable virility? I’m going to side with Clive Barker in his letter to Fangoria, asserting that it is due to internal company politics. Surely, that’s an injustice to the countless hordes aching to come to Midnight Meat Train’s debut.

Even if you are not a fan of horror, Midnight Meat Train still deserves your support. Every ticket purchased is an investment in public transportation and the environment. How does a film about blood drenched, brutal killings on a subway encourage people to use more environmentally friendly transport? Well, much of the movie was filmed on location in the Los Angeles metro subway system, whose existence even residents of L.A. are blissfully unaware. Knowing is half the battle, and Midnight Meat Train is in the trenches, fighting to open your eyes, spread the word, and save the environment.

Los Angeles Metro Rail: It exists!

Those who support the film will be treated to a glorious hybrid of the Japanese and American horror traditions. Most remakes of Japanese horror films have come out poorly, never meeting the suspense or gore quotas of the originals. Not so with Midnight Meat Train.

Based on an American story from Barker’s collection, Books of Blood, and overseen by an uncompromising Japanese director, the finished product presents the best the Eastern and Western worlds have to offer. Midnight Meat Train is engorged with blood splattering against windows and is punctuated by sledgehammer thrusts into skulls. The suspense is unrelenting, the story nonsensical.

Beating on the Meat Train

Please, help us make the world a less unjust place. Do not let French hack Alexandre Aja’s Mirrors outperform Midnight Meat Train because of Liongate’s flaccid plan for theatrical dissemination. Send the following prewritten letter, courtesy of Icons of Fright to investor relations or Joe Drake (COO and President of Lionsgate). You can also contact Liongate’s main office at (310) 449-9200 to express your desire to see a magnum-sized release for Midnight Meat Train.

E-mail message (or feel free to compose your own) courtesy of Icons of Fright:

Dear Lionsgate,

As a long time Clive Barker fan, I am writing you to express my strong desire to see “The Midnight Meat Train” on the big screen.

Rumors are currently circulating that the film will only be released on a limited basis and I am very concerned that I will miss my opportunity to see the most highly anticipated Clive Barker film in over a decade in all of its big screen glory!

There are millions of horror fans like myself who have been disappointed by the recent trend towards watered down PG-13 horror movies. Clive’s work represents a return to serious, thought provoking horror movies, and with Ryuhei Kitamura at the helm, I am even more excited to experience this collaboration as it was intended: in a packed theater with hundreds of other horror fans like myself!

I urge you to please give this film the release it deserves!

Many thanks,

Type Your Name Here

People get ready, there’s a Meat Train a comin’
You don’t need no ticket, just get on board.