Roll call: James Boo, Josh Leichtung, Jake Mix.
47 Words celebrates Spider-man’s original rogues gallery.
Mysterio
Emits hallucinogenic gas
Not even a self-inflicted gunshot to the head could kill Mysterio. Formerly deceased, he returned as a malcontented zombie missing half his head. A master of prestidigitation and hypnosis, Mysterio managed to drive both Spider-Man and Daredevil to the brink of madness despite his lack of superpowers. -JL
Electro
Is electric
Spider-man villains don’t always have the most creative superpowers, but Electro might best illustrate Stan Lee’s slacker approach to the creative process: take the first thing that pops into your head and go crazy with it. In this case, electricity. I guess it’s still better than Stilt-man. -JM
Doctor Octopus
Has eight metallic arms
Leader of the first three iterations of the Sinister Six, Doctor Octopus, PhD of nuclear science, is not a true cephalopod as his name suggests. Though dumpy and rotund for a super-villain, Doc Ock is not an invertebrate, showing real backbone in his unending battles against Spider-man. -JL
Kraven the Hunter
posesses feral superhuman strength
Something bad always happens when comic writers get into the real books. This four-color Teddy Roosevelt plays A Most Dangerous Game with the world, all while wearing a leopard print leotard. In the alternate Ultimate Universe, he hosts a reality TV show, which is much more realistic. -JM
Sandman
can transform body into sand
Sandman, you’ve been a member of the Sinister Six, Frightful Four, and even a reserve for the Avengers. Your shifting personality is ruled by the tides, and that’s part of your charm. Just beware of Hydro-man. When you merge, it results in an inane, ineffectual mud monster. -JL
The Vulture
Is a flying old man
When Marvel unleashed Spider-man’s first series, they knew that petty crime and moral tongue lashings wouldn’t be enough to satisfy a populace hungry for true evil. Thus, in issue #2, they brought us this balding old man on kelly green wings. Corpses and Marie Callender’s employees beware! -JB
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1 response so far ↓
1 Cow Exploder // Jul 16, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Great tribute! I especially liked the references to Hydro-Man and Stilt-Man; for some reason, I’ve always liked hearing about the lesser known villains (comic relief, I suppose). Vulture was especially good for this because Spidey, as he said himself, could go with old jokes or bald jokes.
I’ve got an addition from a later iteration of the six…
Hobgoblin
second string green goblin
Faster than Speed Demon. More retcons than Superman. Able to escape barely comprehensible story lines with a single name-change. Look! Up in the sky! It’s a middle-aged fashion designer with a penchant for orange capes! Roderick Kingsley will never achieve Norman Osborn’s greatness, unless he goes green.
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